Reflections on Community

And

Not-For-Profit Boards and Memberships

(Power of Networking)

by

Paul A. Dillon
paul@dillonconsult.com

before the

Harris School of Public Policy

University of Chicago

November 18, 2011

It is truly a pleasure to be here with you this morning. I am honored that my

dear friend of many years, Lydia Lazar, invited me to share some thoughts with you on

the power of networking, particularly as it relates to service on community and non-profit

boards and memberships.

When Lydia told me the topic on which she was asking me to speak, I emailed each of

my three children, all of whom are young adults out in the working world, the following

This (speaking on the subject of networking through non-profits) will be interesting,

and will force me to evaluate what I have been doing all these years. I hope that I

haven’t wasted all this time. In terms of what the world values, there are so many people

who are more successful than I could ever hope to be.

My daughter replied, “In the movie ‘Adaptation’, there is a line that a person is ‘who

they love, not who loves them’. I think the same analogy can be applied to networking.

You are who you know and serve, not who knows and serves you.”

Smart girl – must take after her mother!

I thought about those words a lot—and, agonized over what I should tell you this

afternoon. I thought about doing a “How to” type of presentation. You know, something

like, “Ten easy steps to networking through non-profits”, or “The one-minute non-profit

networker.” But, that seemed too pedestrian. You can pick thousands of those types of

“How to network” schemes off the internet. So, I thought about it for awhile, and decided

that one of the things that’s always missing in these overly simplistic “How to” guides is

the psychology, philosophy, and emotion of why people started doing what they were

doing, whatever it was, i.e., how to loose weight…how to start exercising…how to make

money in the stock market…whatever, and the struggles that they were undergoing while

they were doing these things.

So, I decided that what I want to do this morning is to give you the psychology,

philosophy, and even theology behind what my definition of networking is, its value (as

if you already didn’t know), how and why I started volunteering for service on non-

profits, and how you can do the same, should you choose to do so. But, most important, I

want to relate, if I can, my own journey from volunteering for non-profits for my own

selfish business reasons, to volunteering because I really care. It’s the last point that is

most important, but will be the most difficult for me to articulate. You can be the judge

of how well I have done. I have saved some “how to” items for last. But, perhaps, these

mechanical issues regarding networking through non-profits can best be covered in a

question and answer session later, or in a personal conversation.

What Networking Is . . . . Or, More Precisely, Isn’t

The first (and absolutely the most important) thing about networking that you have to

realize is that it isn’t about you . . . it’s about them!

In an exchange of e-mails with a search consultant with whom I had lunch several

years ago, I wrote the following:

“You also termed what I do as networking. While I understand that the word networking

is the current colloquialism, what I do is much more than that. Networking, to me, is

almost a pejorative term. It implies just getting a lot of business cards, and then calling

these people to use them for your own business or personal objectives.

What I have tried to do over the past thirty-seven years that I have been in business is, for

each and every person that I meet, to try to love them with my whole heart, my whole

mind, and my whole soul—to always put their interests FIRST, and my interests THIRD

(there is no second; that’s my margin of error). And, you know when you do that, when

you totally abandon your interests to others, it comes back to you, not just ten times, but

ten thousand times ten thousand times—without you even asking! Remarkable!

Networking, then, is really “relationship building”. It is the fine psychological art and

spiritual craft of how one human being interacts with another, in the most positive,

giving, and uplifting way possible, over an extended period of time, hopefully into

perpetuity. That is really why so many people do it so wrong, or can’t do it at all. Most

people, I find, are much, much too selfish to be effective relationship builders. When you

cut to their very core, you find that it is really, basically, about them—and, that they

really, really don’t give a damn about you, or anyone else, for that matter. They are

phonies. They are frauds. And, frauds are eventually found out.

When I peer deep into the eyes of people like this, and have a window to their very

soul, I ask myself, “Where were their parents, where were their teachers, where were

their priests, ministers, rabbis, imams, or other religious leaders?”

For, you see, effective relationship building, effective networking, if you will, really

can’t be taught. It can only be nurtured in those people who have been raised by their

parents, taught by their teachers and instructed by their religious leaders, to be

warm, gentle, loving, kind, open and giving people, who believe in the basic goodness of

Over the years, I have watched people join organizations, or attend networking events,

for the sole purpose of getting a bunch of business cards, or a board of directors roster,

and using these cards or rosters to call people up, or perhaps make an appointment, and

then proceed to beat the living “you know what” out of them to sell their products or

Wrong!! That is not the way to do it! That is not how you build effective, long-term

relationships that lead to long-term friendships that perhaps can lead, in turn, to long-

term business opportunities. That is the guttural, low-class approach to networking. If

that is your idea of relationship building, of networking, then go sell

vacuum cleaners or encyclopedias door-to-door.

As one of my more pithy and droll friends, who had a rather patrician upbringing,

derisively said about someone who tried this approach with him, “He was more suitable

for selling ice, than bonds.” Ouch! I never forgot that comment. No, that is not the way

There is an old adage in Chicago business and civic circles that you have to give

before you get. Let that be your cardinal rule in relationship building.

If you meet someone at a so-called networking event, ask how you can help them.

Ask them how you can be of service to them and their business or organization. Tell

them what you have in terms of skills, contacts, resources, etc. And, then ask them what

they need. Start out the relationship by giving, rather than getting. And, you know,

when you make a sincere offer to help someone—to be of service to someone—and

really, really, really mean it—and really, really follow through with it—they will almost

always reciprocate in kind. And, often, they will give you in return much, much more

than you ever give them.

The same is true when volunteering for service on a non-profit board or other similar

type of organization. Be sure that you volunteer for a non-profit or organization whose

mission and purpose really interest you. Then, work very, very hard at this volunteer

activity to help the organization fulfill its mission. Remember the caution of that great

Roman statesman and orator, Marcus Tullius Cicero, “Facta, Non Verba”. (It’s deeds,

not words that count). Prove to your other board members or organization members that

you are more than just a name on a letterhead, that you are not there just to meet people

to advance you own interests. Treat your volunteer service with the same

conscientiousness and diligence that you would any for-profit business activity.

For when you do this—when you treat your volunteer service with the same diligence

and seriousness that you would for any for-profit business activity, people will

realize that you truly are a person of substance, and that you truly are a person who can

be relied upon, and that you have the best interests of the organization (rather than you

own interests) in mind. And, people will realize that you really care.

Several years ago, at an Economic Club dinner, the former president of a Chicago area

university paid me one of the highest compliments that I have ever received, and one

which I hope that I can live up to. Introducing me to the head of a Chicago non-profit

organization, he said, “This is Paul Dillon. He is a good man. He really cares.”

He is a good man. He really cares.

That is how you build solid long-term relationships in Chicago’s civic community that

can lead to possible opportunities for you down the road. You have to give before you

get. You have to really care.

The Value of Networking—For Yourself and For Others

Anyone sitting here today should realize the intrinsic value of building long term

relationships to a business or public service career. It is an absolutely necessary part of

Not to do so is the equivalent of committing “career suicide”. If the way you have

operated to date in the jobs you have had so far (or, for those of you not working yet, for

the jobs you intend to get) is to simply go to work, do your work, and then go home

without participating in any professional societies or community activities, or without

attending any so-called “networking” events; then, from this point forward, your behavior

In a 1992 presentation that I was privileged to make to the Midwestern Regional

meeting of the College Board on “What Business Expects from Higher Education” and

which was later published in the November 1992 issue of The College Board Review, the

professional journal of the College Entrance Examination Board, I said, in part:

“New graduates, and every other nineties-era manager or professional, who want to

survive in the white-collar work force of the future are going to have to be very visible

with a lot of professional contacts. They will have to be smarter, tougher, more self-

reliant, exceedingly cynical, a great deal more fiscally prudent in their personal lives and

willing to take dramatic (sometimes terrifying) short-term risks for long-term

employment gains. Furthermore, I went on to say, (and these words apply to all

professional, managerial, and technical workers, not just new graduates).

“While it may sound like fluff, students entering the professional and managerial work

force must take responsibility for developing a great number of professional contacts (the

current colloquialism is “networking”), in addition to obtaining and maintaining high

professional visibility. Students should learn that a hunger for success, coupled with

style and image, are as critical as substance to business success. After a certain point in

your career, competence is assumed. From that point on, ambition, drive, style, image,

politics, and luck (some would say divine providence) seem to be the prime determinants

of success in the business world.” And, the same applies to the public service world.

It’s just common sense. If you’re faced with being out of work and don’t know

anyone to call, what are you going to do?

If you take nothing else away from this talk this afternoon, remember these words!

CIRCULATE OR TERMINATE! It’s that important to your long-term career survival.

While I realize that the primary concern of the people in this room is how to make

contacts to find job, I want you to mentally set aside that all too important task for a

moment, if you can, while I appeal to the more altruistic side of your nature. There is,

perhaps, an even more important reason to volunteer for service on a non-profit board,

governmental committee or commission, or other such professional or community based

organization. And, that is to better the lot of your fellow man.

When I look back at the opportunities that I have been fortunate to have over the past

thirty years or so of volunteer service on various non-profit and governmental boards,

committees and commissions, I am truly humbled by what has been accomplished. The

bustling aerodrome that you see today at Midway Airport was a direct result of the work

of the Midway Airport Revitalization Commission. The Chicagoland Chamber of

Commerce (then called the Chicago Association of Commerce and Industry) played

a pivotal role in the first phase of the O’Hare Airport redevelopment program in the

1980’s. The Regional Transportation Authority was formed in 1974; and, state pension

laws were rewritten in 1982 to increase their investment returns in subsequent bull

markets, inuring to the benefit of Illinois taxpayers. (This is true, even today, given the

recent problems with state pension funds). Politicians have been influenced to pass good

legislation (hopefully), editorial writers have been influenced to write editorials

supporting good causes (hopefully), performing artists have been financed so that they

can perform their art, and most important, through the work of wonderful organizations

like the Jane Addams Hull House Association and its attendant Foundation, funds have

been raised, not only to feed, clothe and shelter Chicago’s underclass society, but to

provide them with the support, encouragement and tools to escape their vicious vortices

of poverty, racism, and hopelessness.

No simple business career can provide such wonderful opportunities. These are

opportunities that, hopefully, will promote an infectious conspiracy of goodness in all

who touch you, and in all whom you touch. These are opportunities to care. In the words

of Francis Bacon, “In this theater of man’s life, it is reserved only for God and for angels

If you recall your Sunday School days (for those of you who were

awake) when Cain kills Abel in the Book of Genesis, God asks Cain, “Cain, where is you

brother? Cain replies with the most profound question in the whole of the Bible. “I do

not know. Am I my brother’s keeper?” The whole of Scripture from that point on,

indeed, the whole of civilized society, is designed to answer that one question.

These ideas are beautifully expressed in a wonderful newsletter,

published by the Royal Bank of Canada, on The Call for Volunteers. The author of this

newsletter states, in part:

“One of the mainstays of society, after all, is the common understanding that the
stronger must share their strength with the weaker. There could be no social order if the
community interest did not come before purely selfish pursuits. The religions which
did so much to establish that social order in the first place have always stressed that the

individual has an obligation to his fellow human beings. The concept of mutual support
is implicit in every major religious belief.

For instance, it is a maxim of Hinduism that ‘he does not live in vain who employs his
wealth, his thought, his speech to advance the good of others.’ ‘The way to heaven is to
benefit others,’ the Taoist philosophy says. According to the Prophet Mohammed, ‘A
man’s true wealth is hereafter the good he does in this world to his fellow man.’

In the Old Testament we find the example of Job: ‘I was eyes to the blind, and feet I was
to the lame. I was father to the poor and the cause which I knew not I sought out.’ In
the New Testament is the Parable of the Good Samaritan: ‘Go and do likewise,’ Jesus
enjoined.

John Ruskin made an acute observation of scriptural teachings when he wrote: ‘It is
written, not ‘blessed is he that feedeth the poor,’ but ‘blessed is he that considereth the
poor.’ A little thought and a little kindness are often worth more than a great deal of
money.’ “

And, it is the work of many, many non-profits and government committees and

commissions which gives you an opportunity to fulfill that Scriptural charge—to be your

“brother’s keeper”, to “share your strength with the weaker.”

That is the real reason why you should undertake volunteer service on community

organizations, non-profits, governmental advisory bodies, and the like.

This is Paul Dillon. He is a good man. He really cares.

How and Why I Started Networking

But, I have to be completely honest with you. That is not the reason that I started so-

called “networking”. I started getting involved in business and community activities very

early on in my working life because it became obvious to me that you needed to have a

wide range of contacts to go to if either your job dried up, or you were fired. I

recognized in my twenties, way before the concept of “networking” became fashionable,

that creating a long-term relationship with a lot of people, both inside and outside of your

career field, was necessary for career preservation, as I have previously noted this

Furthermore, in the professional services industry, in which I have been in one form or

another for most of my career, obtaining and retaining a good reputation as a hard worker

and diligent volunteer in a business or community organization was one way that a

professional could market himself, or herself, as the case may be. Back in the mid to late

1970s when I started my business career after my military and government service,

formal advertising and public relations programs for professional service firms were

extremely rare. Back then, getting yourself known in Chicago’s business and civic

communities was the most effective way to market both your and the firm’s services.

That concept was never more true than when I was in the real estate industry from

1976 through 1985. Real estate is, inherently, a contact business. That is how you know

about deal flow, and how you are able to assess all of the myriad socioeconomic factors

that comprise what is euphemistically known as “market value” for a property. Even

more important, as a real estate analyst in those pre-internet days, I knew that I had to

develop a wide range of contacts who were good sources of data for the various market

and financial feasibility analyses that I was required to perform.

During those years, I was privileged to work for some wonderful mentors who were

kind enough to introduce me to many, many prominent people in Chicago’s business and

civic communities. Those introductions advanced me light years in Chicago’s business

and civic life—and, I am truly indebted to that family for taking such an interest in me,

and in showing me the value of forming long-term business and civic relationships. I

hope that I have been a worthy student.

So, you can see, my initial reasons for “networking” (so to speak) through service on

business and community boards and committees was hardly

altruistic. It was initially for business reasons, but that was to later change.

Did I find Them, or Did They Find Me?

I have often been asked, “Well, Dillon, how did you get so involved in all of these

organizations? Did you find them, or did they find you?

I think, initially, that I searched for organizations where my volunteer service would

be helpful to my business career, as I previously noted. So, in essence, I started out by

finding them. But, later on, as I hopefully developed a reputation for hard work on

organization boards, and being committed to the goals and mission of these

organizations—and, really caring about these organizations and the people that they

served, I was approached, more and more, by organizations asking that I volunteer my

services to them. So, I guess, they found me.

The answer to the question is then, I suppose, both. Initially, I sought out

organizations that would inure to the benefit of my business career. But, later on, as my

skills, knowledge and contacts developed, organizations sought me out for what I could

bring to them to help them in their mission.

The needs are great, I have found. Competent, committed and knowledgeable

The Transition To Caring

Maxwell Taylor Kennedy, in a nifty little book entitled, Make Gentle The Life of This

World: The Vision of Robert F. Kennedy, quotes his father as writing, “(Another great

task) is to confront the poverty of satisfaction—a lack of purpose and dignity—that

inflicts us all. Too much and too long, we seem to have surrendered community

excellence and community values in the mere accumulation of material things”.

I have related to you this morning that my initial motivation for becoming involved in

non-profit community based and business related organizations was to make contacts and

build a reputation that would further my business career. . . a rather selfish motive, I think

Let me tell you, however, about how, over the years, as I volunteered for these various

organizations, I became less and less interested in my own career goals, and more and

more interested in how the work of these organizations impacted the commonweal of the

citizenry of the Chicagoland area.

As I previously mentioned to you, what dawned on me over time was the tremendous

societal impact which volunteer service can have. Participating in these volunteer

organizations, as I have noted, gave me a unique opportunity to influence the common

good . . . an influence that I could have never obtained had I simply plodded along in a

traditional business career.

Let me tell you about one particular experience in this regard that served as an

epiphany of sorts for the tremendously positive influence that a single non-profit can

Several years ago, I was asked to become involved with the Jane Addams Hull House

Association, the oldest and largest social service agency in the United States. (Full

disclosure here. The Hull House Association has since become a client of the firm that

was my former employer). I was invited to tour one of the Association’s community

centers, to see, first hand, the work of this wonderful organization.

I did so on a lovely late spring day—and, was stunned!

What I saw was truly God’s work on earth. I saw wonderfully committed people

trying their very best to ease the suffering of the most economically afflicted among us,

while attempting to give them the tools and encouragement to escape their world of

poverty, drugs and violence—all with very limited resources. I saw wonderfully

committed people doing their very best to shed the warm light of hope on people who

knew nothing but despair. Truly, this was miraculous. Truly, these were “mitzvahs”—

good deeds. Truly, this was God’s work—and, I wanted to be a part of it. And, I was. It

was a wonderful experience to serve on the board of the Hull House Foundation, the

development arm of the Association, and to help raise funds to support the wonderful

work of this organization.

“When I go down and see

the way some people live,

and look around dismayed,

shame scorches my cheeks

like the back of a flatiron.

How shamefully we hold our tongues

Or, at the most, we hem and haw . . .

Lies are written on fat faces

That should be hidden in trousers . . .”

. . . The poet Andrei Voznesensky writes on the ideals “of a world of poverty and

official lies,” as quoted by Maxwell Taylor Kennedy, in the previously aforementioned

There is nothing unique in what I have done. I have no special talents or abilities.

You can do what I have done. You, too, can contribute to the good of the people of our

region, while advancing your own set of contacts in Chicago’s business and civic

communities. And, here are some guidelines to follow in order to do that, some of which

I have already mentioned:

1. Find a non-profit community based or business organization, or a government

committee or commission, whose mission and purpose really interest you. It stands to

reason that you will be more successful in your volunteer activities and certainly enjoy

yourself more, if you truly believe in the goals and purpose of the organization for which

you are giving your time and talents.

This is not as difficult as it may seem. Your local church, synagogue or other house

of worship, in addition to your local town or village government, can be good sources of

information on what social service agencies are in your area. Businesses may have

trade associations or professional societies that might be of interest to you. Local

governments have numerous citizen volunteer committees or commissions, planning,

zoning, veteran’s affairs, etc., that are seeking your talents. Organizations in Chicago,

such as Business Volunteers for the Arts, match the board needs of local arts oriented

groups with the skills and talents that volunteer business people are willing to contribute.

The Donors Forum in Chicago might be another resource for similar types of

information. The internet is a powerful tool in this area, with such sites as

Chicagovolunteer.net and volunteermatch.org. The list is endless.

2. Once on-board a non-profit, treat your volunteer service with the same seriousness

and diligence that you do in your regular business activities. Prove to your fellow board

members and organization members that you are there to serve the needs of the

organization, rather that your own personal interests. Work hard to show that you are

more than just a mere “name on a letterhead”.

3. Once you have demonstrated to your fellow board members and organization

members that you work hard to further the mission and objectives of the organization,

rather than your own interests, over an extended period of time, then true, real, solid

friendships develop. And, it is typically only then, through these friendships, that true,

real, solid and substantive business opportunities will arise.

Remember, you have to “give” before you “get”. Remember that it isn’t about

“you”; it’s about “them”. Remember that your willingness to

“surrender” your own selfish aims when volunteering for service with a non-profit is vital

not only to the perpetuation of that organization, but to society in general. If we refuse to

contribute to the good of the whole, we perversely contribute to our own demise.

“He who never sacrificed a prior to a future good, or a personal to a general one, can

speak of happiness only as the blind do of colors”, Horace Mann wrote. Remember, as

my daughter reminded me, that you are who you know and serve, not who knows and

I look forward to hearing about your future successes, and your future volunteer

I look forward to hearing the following words, when someone mentions your name; “He

(or she) is a good person. They really care.”

Thank you for the opportunity to be with you this afternnon.